In October 2007, a month since my move to the seaside, I received a text message from a guy that I fancied since Feb 2007. I bumped into him in August and mentioned that I was moving and he said that he would contact me to come down and visit. I completely forgot about it, so when i received the text I was ecstatic that this gorgeous man wanted to see me.
We arranged to meet a week after my birthday. When he arrived, we went to find a parking space and had to wait for a family to finish eating their fish and chips in the parking space that we needed. While we were waiting he told me that when we saw each other in August, he felt an attraction. This was, of course, fantastic news as he could be the man of my dreams that I had been waiting for.
We then started to have a relationship. I spent boxing day at his place with his family and went to his home town and met all his friends. However, during our time together he mentioned on a few occasions that I wasn’t what he was looking for and that he has an idea in his head of what his relationship would look like.
So, in February 2008 I had a week away in Los Angeles and had arranged that he pick me up from the airport and we travel to my mums for a couple of days. On the morning that we were leaving my mums, he said that he doesn’t think that our relationship is heading in the right direction and we should end it. I was absolutely gutted. We went out for lunch with my mum before leaving to travel home and I was very quiet and rather grumpy.
Our journey home was rather silent and I was still upset. He said that we could talk about it in the next few days and that we would remain friends. So, after a few days, i spoke to him and said that I had been thinking about how I had been in the time we were together and he said that he had been thinking about how he had been and what he wants during the whole time we were together and that he doesn’t need to comtemplate anything anymore.
After a few weeks had gone by, we had still remained in contact and he came to support me with a party that I had organised in aid of Cancer Research in May. He was a really great help and I realised that after spending four days with him that I still had feelings for him. A few weeks after the party, I sent him an email to let him know how I felt. We discussed it a few days later and he said that he doesn’t feel the same way and that he only sees me as a great friend.
After alot of soul searching, I realised that there wasn’t any passion or sparkle in our relationship and I was holding on to something that wasn’t even there in the first place. I was also wallowing in the fact that I didn’t have a job during the time we were together and was worried that if i got a job then I would never get to see him as he worked shifts (which I know was ridiculous)
We are still friends and he now has a girlfriend whom he is happy with. So for me, it’s back to the drawing board.
